Of Sea Turtles And Whipped Cream
by xephwrites
Summary: The continuing adventures of Dean and Sam while stoned, with Castiel taking care of them!  WARNINGS: Drug use, boykissing, stoned people watching The Discovery Channel, sea turtle bashing.


For my kissbingo square "Experimental : whipped cream". Follows "A Shotgun You Don't Shoot"

_Please note that the sea turtle conversation is based on an actual discussion from many many moons ago between my former roommates while watching the Discovery Channel under the influence. ;)_

* * *

Dean is stoned. So very very stoned. And it's easy to tell. Him and Sam are sprawled out on the couch of their motel room, watching the Discovery Channel, and Dean's laughing. Nothing is blowing up on screen, and sharks aren't eating people, but he's still laughing.

"Shut up, man, I'm serious!" Sam said as he halfheartedly kicked Dean's leg, making Dean laugh harder.

"I know you're serious," Dean said as he gasped to catch his breath. "That's why it's so fucking funny!" Sam crossed his arms and huffed, staring at the television.

They turned when they heard Castiel flutter into the motel room, holding two white plastic bags.

"What did you bring us?" Dean asked, making room on the couch for the angel.

"Everything you put on the list," Castiel said as he sat between the brothers. The both grabbed a bag and dug in. Sam made a gleeful noise as he pulled out a burrito. Dean snatched it away from him.

"No, Sea Turtle. Sea turtles don't eat burritos," Dean said as he tore the package open and took a bite. Castiel looked between the brothers.

"Sam is not a sea turtle," he said, wrestling the bag away from Dean.

"Yes he is. Ask him," Dean mumbled around the last of the burrito. Castiel gave Sam a questioning look. Sam sighed.

"The show said that sea turtles enter puberty when they are about twelve," Sam pouted. "And that's when I hit puberty. So, if we hit puberty at the same time, wouldn't that make me a sea turtle?"

Dean started laughing hysterically again. Castiel couldn't hide his smile.

"No, Sam. You're not a sea turtle, I promise." Castiel handed Sam a lukewarm pizza pocket.

"Good," Sam said as he unwrapped it. He ate half of it in one bite. "Being a sea turtle would suck."

"Of course," Dean pointed at the television screen. "It would suck if that's how you'd be having sex for the rest of your life." Castiel rolled his eyes and found the remote.

"No more Discovery Channel for you two," he said, changing it to another channel. Both brothers whined.

Castiel settled on an action movie. The gunfire and explosions should keep them amused as they make their way through the bags of food.

Dean pulled a can of whipped cream out of the bag. He shook it up and removed the cap. He looked at what was left in the bag. Castiel watched him, could see that his mind was working out a puzzle.

Dean shrugged, tipped his head back and sprayed the whipped cream into his mouth. Swallowing it, Dean turned to Castiel.

"Want some?"

Castiel nodded. He'd always enjoyed whipped cream before. Dean leaned forward and sprayed. Due to the fact he was very stoned, the whipped cream landed around the angel's mouth, not in it. Dean laughed as he leaned forward.

"Lemme get that for you." Dean's tongue snaked out and licked up the whipped cream. Castiel chased his lover's lips, bringing him back in for another kiss.

"You missed some," Castiel whispered, looking down at the other corner of his mouth. Dean grinned and licked it.

"You taste good, Cas," Dean mumbled, tossing his head back again for another shot of whipped cream. He swallowed it and slid off the couch. "Gotta get comfy."

Dean sat on the floor and leaned his head back on Castiel's lap. Dean looked up at him with his mouth open. Castiel shook the can and sprayed whipped cream into his lover's mouth. Dean smiled as he swallowed the mouthful.

"You're too good to me, Cas," Dean mumbled before opening his mouth again. Castiel smiled and sprayed more.

"Oooh, Kinder egg," Sam said. He unwrapped the foil and broke the small chocolate egg. He fumbled with the small case that held the toy. Breaking it open, his shoulders sagged. He held up a small plastic sea turtle in the palm of his hand.

"Face it," Dean said. "Sammy is a sea turtle."

Castiel laughed and leaned down, capturing his lover's lips in a quick kiss.


End file.
